


desire - newtmas

by obrienslahey



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, newtmas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 05:04:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16695955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obrienslahey/pseuds/obrienslahey
Summary: A oneshot / kind of a short story where Newt messes Thomas's life up when they meet again after having broken up almost a year ago.Soundtrack: Middle of the night - the vamps & martin jensenwarning: trash. i can't write.





	desire - newtmas

Newt took off his jacket and threw it on the table before sitting down on the brown, wooden chair next to it. He sighed, exhausted after a long day of work. He had a habit of throwing himself into work as a way to distract himself from the pressures of life, and it left him tired and with strained muscles every day. Baking cakes wasn't that physically exhausting, but doing it all day, every day, definitely hurt your arms. 

He leaned back and stretched his arms, ignoring the creaking chair. It was an old chair and it wasn't very stable, but Newt wasn't that heavy and he came here almost every night so he was sure he wouldn't fall off. 

The pub was filled with people coming from college or work, who sneaked out to get away from everyone's demands. Some people sat at the bar with a glass of vodka in front of them and red, swollen eyes. Most of the people in the pub were on the dancefloor, partying, and everyone else was spread out over the room. Newt knew what they were all like. He himself had been like every single person in the pub. He was a person of reinvention, and his attitude and life changed almost every year at least twice. A few feet to his right, he saw a group of friends with beer and their bags on the ground. Students. He remembered how he and his friends used to sneak out of their dorms to get drunk and party when they were still at college and smiled. A sad feeling came over him when he realized those times were over, but he pushed it away. At least he still had Minho, his best friend, and Sonya, his sister. 

On the opposite side of the room, he saw a man from around his age with a glass of beer in his hands. He was still wearing his coat and sipped his beer every five seconds. Newt let his eyes wander to the man's feet and saw a brown bag with some papers sticking out of it. He probably just got out of work and wanted to go to the pub for a while, because he was exhausted. Maybe he was trying to stay away from home. Newt had also been like that. 

And then, finally, a girl at the bar. The bartender Harriet looked like she was trying to comfort the girl. He glanced at the bar and saw several empty glasses that were probably filled with alcohol just seconds ago. Her head hung low and her shoulders were tense like she was trying not to shake. Break-up. Newt had been like that for a long time. He still was, but he sat in a dark and desolate corner now and only drunk a little. Experience had taught him that alcohol only made it worse. 

He watched the girl for a short while until his view was interrupted by someone. Newt looked up and was greeted by the sight of his best friend Minho holding two glasses of beer. 

"Where did this come from?" Newt asked as he took a glass and Minho sat down next to him.

"You're gonna need it," Minho said. Newt chuckled and took a sip. "And why is that?"

Minho's face was serious, and he slowly turned away from Newt. Newt frowned. Something was off. Minho only behaved like this when something was seriously wrong.

"Well, I got a text from Thomas. He has a date, and they're meeting up here."

\- Thomas - 

Another date. Another woman or man who wanted to sleep with him and then leave him. Another night of alcohol, loud music and missing Newt. Thomas was done with it. He couldn't remember the last time he went out with someone he actually liked. At least not after Newt. 

He sighed and put on his jacket. It's 19:30 and he was supposed to meet Brenda at WCKD, the local pub, at 20:00. 

He had to remind himself why he was even going. Teresa set him up with her because she thought Thomas had a thing for Brenda or whatever. She'd told Brenda that Thomas wanted to go out with her, and Thomas didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he said yes when Brenda asked him out for a date. He regretted it the second he said it. He wasn't attracted to Brenda at all, at least not romantically. He identified as bisexual but only had romantic feelings for men. He never told anyone but Newt about this, though. He was afraid his friends would laugh at him or his parents would fight with him again. When he'd come out to his parents, they yelled at him for twenty minutes and told him to leave the house. He lived with Minho for two years until he contacted them again. They still didn't like it, but they had started to accept it. He didn't want to lose them again. 

His phone rang, and he turned around to get it. It was probably Teresa. 

When he saw Minho's name on the screen, he frowned and picked up.

"Hi."

"Hi, Thomas. Listen, man, you should probably take your date somewhere else."

"What?" 

"You shouldn't go to WCKD, okay. Trust me, you don't want to be here."

"Why not?" Thomas asked, getting more confused by the second. 

"Newt's here."

\- Flashback -

Thomas got chills all over his body when he saw his boyfriend of three years enter his apartment. Newt looked gorgeous as always, even when holding two grocery bags and looking like he was about to faint. Today, it was different, though. Thomas couldn't quite appreciate Newt's beauty anymore. A shadow of darkness had passed over him and every single thing in the world suddenly looked worse. He bit his lip, stopping himself from crying. He had to help Newt first. 

"Here, let me take that," Thomas said quietly, and he walked over to Newt and he took one of his bags. Newt smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. The chills appeared again, but they were dull. Thomas turned away from Newt and walked towards the living room, where he put down the bag. 

Newt followed him and frowned when he saw that nothing had been cleaned up. The room was a mess, with clothes and half-eaten bags of chips everywhere. Thomas hadn't bothered to clean up after he got a heartbreaking phone call from his parents. 

"Listen, Tommy, you're adorable when you're messy, but this is too much," Newt said. Thomas nodded and sat down on the couch, with his head in his hands, suddenly feeling exhausted. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Newt asked. He immediately walked over to Thomas and sat down next to him, wrapping his arm around Thomas's shoulders. 

"Chuck had an accident," Thomas said, trying not to let his voice shake, but failing miserably. His eyes filled with tears and his lips trembled. He wasn't afraid to cry in front of Newt, but he didn't want to, knowing that he wouldn't stop. When his parents called him that morning, he felt numb at first, but after less than ten minutes he was an emotional mess. He spent the entire day in bed, curled up, with his blankets tightly wrapped around him."A car hit him on his way to school and he -"

He started crying and Newt immediately understood what happened. He hugged Thomas tightly and bit his lip to prevent himself from crying as well. Chuck was Thomas's little brother and everyone loved him more than anything in the world. A tear rolled down Newt's cheek and fell on top of Thomas's head. 

"I'm so sorry, Tommy, " he whispered, as he held his crying boyfriend in his arms. "I'm so so sorry."

Thomas didn't stop crying, and Newt didn't stop holding him, softly rocking him back and forth. They sat like this for hours, and slowly, Thomas's sobs grew quieter and quieter until he didn't make a sound anymore. He was completely quiet but still held onto Newt tightly, as if he was going to disappear if he let go. 

"I have to leave," Thomas said. "I have to go see my parents, talk to them.." 

He sniffed and Newt wiped his wet cheeks dry, trying to comfort the boy as much as possible.

"I understand," Newt said. "When do you want to go?" 

"I don't know," Thomas answered. His voice was barely more than a whisper and it was still shaky. "As soon as possible."

\- Present time - 

Thomas turned his phone off without saying a word, overwhelmed by the last memory of him and Newt having a conversation without fighting. The pain of Chuck's death shot through him like a knife. 

Their relationship had ended shortly after this. Thomas had left town to visit his parents, and to go to Chuck's funeral. Newt wasn't allowed to come, because he wasn't family. He called Newt several times, but two calls a day became one call in two days, and one call in two days became one call in a week, and it quickly went downhill after that. Thomas lived with his parents for almost a year and when he moved back, Newt and Thomas hadn't talked in months. Their last conversations always ended in fights. 

Now he definitely wasn't in the mood for a date.

He was about to call Brenda to cancel when he got a text from Teresa.

T: Don't you dare cancel

Thomas sighed and sent her a text back.

"You know me too well"

T: Well, I'm not gonna let you cry over Newt forever

"Speaking of... he's apparently in the same pub me and Brenda are going to meet"

T:Wait, really? You haven't seen him for almost a year

"Don't remind me. I'll guess I'll just avoid him"

He put his phone down and ignored Teresa's next message, which was probably about Newt, who he really didn't want to talk about right now. Teresa was right - it was time to move on, even though he was with someone he didn't feel attracted to.

Sighing one more time, he fixed his shirt and grabbed his car keys.

\- Newt - 

No way he was just going to let Thomas go on a date in the same room he was. Definitely not after they'd broken up for no reason. Technically, they didn't even break up. 

He stared at Minho, then slowly nodded. 

"Okay." 

"You seem to have a plan. Does this involve me, or can I leave so I don't have to watch you embarrass yourself?"

Newt laughed. 

"You can go."

"Thank god."

Minho grabbed his beer and stood up, walking over to the bar to talk to Harriet.

Newt leaned back slightly and took another sip. An idea formed in his head, and he smirked and glanced at the door. He didn't care who Thomas was with, he didn't care what Thomas looked like. Not anymore. He was just going to show Thomas that Newt hadn't forgotten about him, and he wasn't going to let Thomas forget him.

The second a handsome brunet entered the pub, he stood up. Behind him was another old friend of Newt, Brenda. Newt smirked and shook his head. "Really, Tommy?" he whispered to himself.

Thomas and Brenda sat down by the only table left, near the bathroom. 

Perfect.

Thomas always had to go to the bathroom when he was on a date.

Newt watched as Thomas excused himself and stood up. Newt ran a hand through his hair and slowly followed him. He thanked Sonya for getting him to dress up nice that morning. He was wearing a shirt Thomas always loved on him.

When he passed Brenda, she glanced up and a horrified look came over her face.

"Newt?"

He didn't look at her until he reached the bathroom door. When he put his hand on the doorknob, he turned around, smiled and winked at her, a sudden feeling of power rushing through him.

He walked inside and was immediately greeted by the sight of Thomas washing his hands.

Newt's breath caught in his throat. He was wrong - he did care what Thomas looked like. He looked hot.

His skin was more tanned than it used to be, and he was taller and more muscular. His hair had grown, but only a little. Newt stared at him, and then he looked at his hands. It was kind of a habit. Newt had given Thomas a small silver ring with T + N in it, and Newt always checked to see if it was there.

The light was reflected off the silver and shone straight in Newt's eyes, and suddenly, he was very aware of what he was doing.

Thomas had seen him and stared at him. 

"Newt."

"You're still wearing the ring."

Really? That's all he could say?

Thomas looked at his hand and looked back up. 

"Yeah."

It was that little movement, the little shake of his head, that snapped Newt out of his gaze and that triggered the voice inside his head that whispered:

Fuck it.

He walked forward, grabbed Thomas's collar and pushed him against the wall, meeting his lips as Thomas's back hit the stone, and hungrily kissed him. 

Thomas didn't push him away. He didn't freeze. He didn't tell him to stop. Instead, he kissed back, running his hands through Newt's hair and turning him around. 

Newt gasped for breath as Thomas took control and pinned him against him the wall, moving his lips to Newt's neck and trailing kisses down his jawline and collarbone. He didn't expect this. He wanted to kiss Thomas and leave him, confused but aroused. Not that he minded this.

He slipped his fingers under Thomas's shirt and ran his hands over his abs. 

"We shouldn't be doing this," Thomas whispered as he softly sucked on Newt's skin, definitely leaving a mark.

"I know," Newt said. He took Thomas's hands, that were placed behind his head and on his back, and softly pushed Thomas back.

Then, he leaned forward and whispered:

"That doesn't mean you're not enjoying it."

He moved his lips to Thomas's neck and kissed the skin, sometimes sucking on it and biting it. When he was sure he'd left a mark, he leaned back and pressed one more kiss to Thomas's lips.

Then, he left the bathroom without saying another word.

\- Thomas - 

He entered WCKD with Brenda by his side, already feeling annoyed. She just wouldn't shut up and constantly talked about herself - something Newt would never do.

No.

He couldn't think about Newt tonight. He had to get through this date first, and then tell Brenda that he wasn't interested in her later. There was no time to focus on his ex.

Brenda dragged him towards their table, and Thomas tried not to look around. He didn't want to see Newt. He didn't want to talk to him. If he did, he'd just fall for him all over again.

He let his eyes slip right before they reached the table, and he saw a head with blond hair on his left. His breath hitched in his throat and he suddenly felt very warm. 

No, no, no, I can't see him. Not now.

"I'm sorry, I have to use the bathroom," he said to Brenda when she sat down. "I'll be right back."

He didn't wait for her answer and quickly left the busy room. When he was in the bathroom, his breathing slowly steadied, and he splashed some water in his face, drying it with a paper towel afterwards. Just as he was done washing his hands and fixing his hair, the bathroom door opened.

Thomas looked in the mirror and froze.

Newt.

Now, he knew it'd been a long time since he'd seen the blond, but he had no idea that he'd change like this. His hair was longer, he was taller - he was actually taller than Thomas now - and he looked a lot more mature than before. 

He hadn't realized that he'd said his name out loud until it echoed off the walls and he heard his own voice. 

"You're still wearing the ring."

Thomas glanced at the ring on his middle finger and then back at Newt.

"Yeah."

The tension was so thick that Thomas was sure he could cut with a knife.

Something changed in Newt's eyes and Thomas wondered what it was, and why, and where Newt had been -

The next moment they were kissing against the bathroom wall.

He wasn't sure who'd moved forward, but he didn't really care either. Finally kissing Newt again, after missing him for so long and thinking about him every day, felt better than anything. He kissed the boy back and turned them around, because Thomas always preferred to be in control. He pinned Newt against the wall and moved his lips to his neck, leaving kisses there. He felt Newt's fingers under his shirt and got to his senses, but he didn't stop. 

"We shouldn't be doing this."

"I know," Newt said, and he took his hands and pushed Thomas back softly.

"That doesn't mean you're not enjoying it."

Now, it was Newt who was kissing Thomas's neck, and Thomas enjoyed it a lot more than he probably should've. But suddenly, Newt moved back and pressed a kiss to Thomas's lips. Thomas was about to ask him why he did all this when Newt smiled and walked away, leaving Thomas alone in the bathroom.

He had no idea what just happened. He looked at himself in the mirror and cringed. His hair was ruffled up, his shirt was lifted and showed off a piece of skin and he had a hickey on his neck. Not exactly the look for a guy on a first date. Brenda was going to kill him.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror for a couple of minutes, heavily breathing, trying to gather his thoughts. He had never been this confused before. Why did he do that? Why did Newt always have the habit of messing up his life - but in a good way? 

When they first met, Newt got him to switch college, which resulted in him getting a good job. Then, he got him to realize that he was bisexual and not straight. He then, for some reason, liked Thomas and became his boyfriend. And now he messed his whole life up, again, and Thomas didn't mind it one bit. 

Oh, shit. Teresa was going to be furious.

He went inside one of the toilet stalls and took out his phone. 

To: Brenda

"I'm sorry, I'm feeling sick. You can go home, I'll ask Minho to drive." 

Brenda: Hmm. I guess giving Newt hickeys all over his neck and kissing him until he's completely out of breath is something that makes you really sick.

Thomas groaned and banged his head against the door.

\- Newt - 

"Hey Newt, please call me when you get this."

"Listen, I don't know what happened or why, but I want to talk to you."

"Teresa's mad at me for not going to your house, but I don't want to feel like a stalker. Call me."

"I feel like you're dead. You haven't returned any of my calls. Please text me or call me if you're still alive."

"Please, really? Texting an x is not saying you're alive. If you don't text me properly or call me I'll actually go to your house and wake you up in the middle of the night."

Show 17 more messages

Newt smirked as he put down his phone. He'd done it. Finally. After months of longing for Thomas, he had made Thomas want him as badly as Newt wanted him. It felt good. What Thomas did was awful. He'd just left Newt for no reason. Newt had forgiven him, but a little vengeance never hurt.

"Did you finally get him to miss you?" 

Newt looked up at Sonya, his sister and roommate. She was leaning against his wall and had her arms folded, one eyebrow raised and a judging look on her face. Newt rolled his eyes. 

"He deserves it."

"Tell me," Sonya said as she walked over to him and sat down next to him, "are you doing this for revenge or because part of you still wants him back?"

"Both," Newt said. Sonya hummed. "Well, call him back. This isn't exactly a good way to get him back."

"I was actually hoping he'd come here," Newt said.

"So that you two could make out and have butt sex on my couch? No thanks, if you're going to talk face to face, do it at his place."

"Hey!" Newt said and he threw a pillow at her face. "I don't complain about you and Harriet rolling around the sheets -"

"Shut up, Newt," Sonya said as she quickly got up and threw the pillow back. "All I'm saying is, if you don't respond, he'll back out of this - whatever it is. So go for it, if you don't want it to end like last time."

She walked over to his desk and picked up a bottle of water, taking a huge sip of it.

"I don't want to come off as desperate," Newt admitted. Sonya made a hysterical noise and laughed so hard that she sprayed water everywhere. Her shoulders shook as she looked at him and tried not to spit out any more water.

"Newt, if someone's gonna come off as desperate, it's Thomas. He left you twenty-two messages in one day," she said in between some hiccups. Newt stared at her dumbfoundedly and then threw the pillow at her again. 

"Get out of here, I'm calling him."

She nodded and raised her hand to slap the next pillow away before it hit her.

"You're gonna clean up the mess you made!" He yelled after her.

\- Thomas - 

He ran towards the living room as soon as he heard his phone ring. He was in the middle of getting dressed when Move by Little Mix started playing in the other room and he'd freaked out. That was his ringtone for Newt. He had a pair of sweatpants on and had a t-shirt in his hands as he tried not to trip over his clothes and shoes that laid on his floor. He swore at himself for not cleaning up - maybe he'd be too late. 

He thanked all the stars and gods in the universe when the phone was still ringing when he picked it up. He quickly pressed the answer-button and tried to calm his breathing and sound cool.

"Hello?"

"Don't pretend you don't know who this is, I know you have a special ringtone for me," a voice heavily laced with a British accent said.

Thomas chuckled and sat down on his couch, taking some clothes off it and throwing them on the floor. 

"What a way to greet me."

"Should I have hungrily kissed you in a bathroom again instead?" Newt said, and Thomas blushed. 

"Well -"

He bit his fingernail as he tried to come up with a clever response. Newt always knew how to take him off guard. 

"I wouldn't have minded," he blurted out. He immediately buried his face in his hands and tried to stop himself from groaning. 

Nice, Thomas.

He could hear Newt laugh on the other side of the line and shook his head.

"I know."

Thomas didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything.

"So, ehm, do you want to meet somewhere?"

\- Newt - 

He knocked on Thomas's door and quickly shoved his hands back in his pockets, trying to look cool, while he was the exact opposite. He had never been this nervous before. His heart was pounding, his knee bouncing and his hands were sweaty. Every last bit of the confidence he had when he called Thomas two hours ago had disappeared. He wasn't sure where he got it from in the first place. Thomas always made him nervous. One look at him at Newt was melting, frozen in place. It was like Thomas was magical, an angel sent from heaven, and Newt wasn't allowed to look at him. 

"Coming!" He heard Thomas yell from inside the house. Newt smiled and calmed down a little. He was acting stupid. It was just Thomas, his ex-boyfriend, who he knew through and through and who he still loved. The boy he'd so confidently kissed the day before. He wasn't going to kill him. 

The door swung open and Newt's breath hitched in his throat. Thomas was still as gorgeous as Newt expected him to be. Not that that was helping Newt in any way.

"Hey," Newt said as he studied Thomas's face. His cheeks were bright red and his hair was messy, and he was panting a little. 

"What - what were you doing?" Newt asked as he tried to look over Thomas's shoulder inside the house. 

"Nothing- ehm - just -" Thomas nervously scratched the back of his head. "Just a little cleaning - the place was a mess."

"Wow, for me?" Newt asked and he laughed. Thomas grinned and blushed a little. 

"Maybe."

He stepped aside and Newt took that as an invite to come inside, so he did. Thomas closed the door behind him and held out his hand.

"Here, I can -" he said, gesturing towards Newt's jacket. 

"Oh! Yeah, sure.." Newt said awkwardly and he took off his jacket and gave it to Thomas. 

"Still a gentleman, I see," he said and Thomas laughed softly. 

"Gotta take care of guests," he said.

Newt followed him into the living room and smirked when he saw how clean the place was. He could still smell the lemon soap Thomas always used when he cleaned up for visitors. 

"You can sit down," Thomas said, and Newt sat down on the couch right next to Thomas.

"So..." Thomas said. "You kind of screwed up my date yesterday."

Newt grinned and pulled the collar of his shirt down, showing Thomas several hickeys.

"You kind of did that yourself."

Thomas stared at the purplish bruises and blushed deeply. "I guess."

He averted his gaze from Newt's neck and met his eyes. 

"Why did you do it?"

"Do what?" Newt asked innocently.

Thomas rolled his eyes.

"Well, I don't know, maybe make out with me in the bathroom?" he said sarcastically.

"Oh, that," Newt said. "Well, Tommy, I did that cause I wanted to."

They both blushed and Newt turned his head away from Thomas. The brunet cleared his throat.

"Why?"

Newt's eyes shot up and met Thomas's, and he suddenly noticed how nervous the other boy was. His left knee was bouncing and he tapped his fingers on his other leg. 

Newt put his hand on Thomas's knee and stopped it from bouncing, not realizing that he always did that when they were dating and it was a way to drive Thomas crazy. When Newt noticed, he bit his lip and lowered his head, avoiding Thomas's gaze.

Thomas placed his hand under Newt's chin and Newt instinctively lifted his head, meeting Thomas's eyes again. It was rather funny - whenever he was with Thomas, all he could look at were his eyes. Not that he hadn't noticed the rest of Thomas's face, cause he definitely had, he just couldn't look away. There was something magical about his eyes that trapped Newt in his gaze.

He felt the cold metal of Thomas's ring against his skin and swallowed. 

"Why?" Thomas asked again. Newt moved back a little, immediately missing the feeling of Thomas's warm hand on his skin. Conversations with Thomas were always easy unless it was about Newt's feelings for him. It was almost impossible for him to admit that he was still madly in love with Thomas. He'd much rather kiss him again, but he knew Thomas wanted an answer. He had to express his feelings in a verbal way, or he wouldn't leave this house - at least not until he said it. Of course, Thomas wouldn't keep him in this house if he didn't want to, but Newt was the one that asked him to meet up. Which meant that Newt wasn't leaving until he talked.

All of that went through his mind as he watched Thomas, and he was about to move forward to just kiss him and tell him about his feelings in that way when Thomas decided to speak. 

"I'm not complaining about the fact that you kissed me. I don't like Brenda anyway."

Newt raised his eyebrows, a little hurt.

"Oh, so you only liked it cause it got you rid of Brenda?"

Thomas's eyes widened, and he shot up. 

"No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that - I just meant -" 

"It's fine, Tommy," Newt said, not bothering to hide the sadness in his voice. "Don't bother."

"Hey," Thomas said, moving forward and grabbing Newt's hands. "I didn't just like it cause it made Brenda go away, okay? Don't ever believe that. I just - I didn't formulate the sentence correctly."

"You didn't?" Newt asked. Thomas blushed a little and nodded.

"Well then tell me why you liked it, " Newt said. Thomas played a little with Newt's fingers - he still hadn't let go. Newt started to get nervous. He knew he'd been saying that Thomas wanted him, but he wasn't so sure. Maybe Thomas wanted to tell him to get away from him. Maybe the only reason he liked the kiss was cause he got rid of Brenda cause of it and was he just too nice to say it. Maybe Thomas didn't like him anymore. Newt was sure Thomas didn't love him anymore. Maybe -

"You're shaking."

Newt blinked a few times and found Thomas's eyes. 

"What?"

Thomas placed his hands over Newt's and wrapped his fingers around them, holding onto them tightly. It was different than how he'd held his hands before - now it was more protectively, like Thomas wanted to calm him down. Newt noticed how his hands were trembling, but slowly, they stilled. At the same time, his heartbeat sped up. Thomas's hands were warm and soft and Newt had the urge to lift his hands and kiss them. Maybe he should. He probably shouldn't.

He inhaled deeply and slowly breathed out.

"You don't have to be nervous, you know," Thomas said. "It's just me."

"That's like telling someone with no sense of smell to just smell something," Newt blurted out. He wondered if maybe he shouldn't have said something, because he probably just messed it up and sounded rude, but Thomas laughed. He actually laughed. Newt let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and chuckled. 

Thomas still hadn't let go of his hands, but Newt didn't say anything about it. He had decided that he'd appreciate every single second with Thomas because he didn't know how many he had left. Thomas could send him away any moment - a small part of him told him he wouldn't, though. If he really hated Newt, he wouldn't have kissed him back in the bathroom. He wouldn't be holding his hands right now. 

"Do you still like me?" Newt asked. He regretted saying it before the words had left his mouth. He hated how desperate and small his voice sounded. It made him feel vulnerable, and it showed Thomas that Newt still wasn't over him. Any other person might not have noticed that, but Thomas.. well, he was Thomas. He knew Newt better than anyone else. 

Thomas seemed taken aback by this question, and he stared at Newt for a while, his cheeks a dark shade of crimson. 

"Was that not obvious?"

Now it was Newt's turn to stare at Thomas. He wasn't sure what kind of answer he'd expected, but definitely not this. 

"What?" he asked for the second time that day.

"Did you really not know?" Thomas asked, and he shook his head and laughed a little. "If I didn't still like you I wouldn't have kissed you back." 

"I just figured -" Newt said, but he didn't know how to finish that sentence. Instead, he moved his hand a little and intertwined his and Thomas's fingers. 

Thomas sighed and looked down at their hands.

"Listen, Newt, I know that our breakup wasn't exactly painless, but that didn't stop me from loving you. I'm sorry for hurting you. I was way too focused on myself and I got you hurt in the process. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Newt said. "Of course you were focused on yourself, I shouldn't have been mad at you for it. It wasn't your fault."

A comfortable silence fell between them, in which they obviously both were thinking about each other. 

"Do you think... I mean, do you want to try again? Do you want to try us again?" Thomas asked after a few seconds.

Newt looked up and let his mind wander. His first instinct was to say yes, I do, but he had to think about this. Yes, he was still madly in love with Thomas. But Thomas hurt him. Badly. He walked into that bathroom wanting to get Thomas distracted and confused, he wasn't planning to get them back together. This all happened because of Thomas, it wasn't Newt's idea.

But now, looking at Thomas, with his cute face and brown eyes, and moles all over his face, he knew that when Thomas hurt him, it wasn't intentional. He was in a very dark place at that moment, and Thomas would never hurt someone on purpose. Even now, he looked kind and innocent, even though Newt knew he was sad and anxiety was shooting through the boy. He knew that he couldn't say no, he could never, because he loved Thomas more than anything and he wanted to be with him for the rest of his life.

Yet he couldn't get the words out of his mouth. He just couldn't. It was like someone locked his lips together. So instead, he leaned forward and kissed him.

Thomas made a surprised noise, but he quickly recovered from his surprise and kissed him back. Their hands were still clutched together, and Thomas tightened his grip as he leaned forward. 

It wasn't a kiss full of lust, like their last one. This one was sweet and romantic and full of unspoken words. The words they never got to say, and the feelings they didn't get to share. 

A small fire lit up in Newt's chest and it spread, filling him with happiness - an effect only Thomas had on him. 

Even when they'd both pulled back, their foreheads still touching, the fire hadn't stopped blazing. A small smile played on his lips as he watched their hands, still intertwined.

"Yeah, he whispered, "yeah, I do." 

 

\- Future - 

"Yes," Newt said to Thomas. "I do."

His husband smiled.


End file.
